The elephant shit experiment

One day, three scientists were having a discussion about how much an elephant shits in one year. The scientists all had very different opinions on this and decided that the only way to find out would be to do an experiment.
The experiment involved putting a cork into an elephants arse and leaving it there for one year. All of the scientists agreed that this was a good way to measure how much the elephant would shit in one year. However, one of the scientists pointed out that once the cork is removed the explosion of shit could be imense. So in the year they spent waiting to remove the cork they trained a monkey to remove the cork.
The day had arrived to remove the cork, the monkey was in position and the scientists went to their positions.
The first one said,"I'm not taking any chances, I'm standing half a mile away!"
The second one insisted,"I think your still too close, I'm standing mile away!"
The third one announced,"Well I think your both crazy, I'm standing two miles away!"
With the scientists in position the monkey was instructed over radio to remove the cork. The elephant screamed and the explosion of shit was enormous. The scientist standing two miles away was covered up to his ankles in shit, thinking to himself,"This isn't too bad, could be worse."
He walked up to the second scientist who was up to his waist in shit. He was fuming, "I should have listened to you, look at me I'm up to my fucking waist in elephant shit!"
They both walked up to the first scientist who was standing only half a mile away. He was covered up to his neck in shit but was giggling to himself. They said to him,"Why the hell are you laughing, your up to your neck in elephant shit... What's so funny?"
"I'm just thinking about the monkey", came the reply.