Pickup lines and comebacks

Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Maybe. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

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Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

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Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

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Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

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Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

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Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”

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Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”

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Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”

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Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized !”

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Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”

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Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”

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Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

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Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy:
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing”.

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Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”

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Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account. Then the door.”

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Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?

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It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.
Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.

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This may be the all time most memorable response to a pick up line. From Erin Brockovich, starring Julia Roberts. Remember this scene

George: Can I get your number?
Erin Brockovich: My number? Which one do you want?
George: How many numbers you got?
Erin Brockovich: Oh, I got numbers comin’ outta my ears. For instance: ten.
George: Ten?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. That’s how many months old my baby girl is.
George: You got a little girl?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. Yeah, sexy, huh? How ’bout this for a number? Six. That’s how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I’ve been married - and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That’s my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I’m guessing zero is the number of times you’re gonna call it!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I and U together
Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put F and U
together.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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He says “Where have you been all my life”
She says “Hiding from you….how the hell did you find me?”

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Male: I would die for you…
Female: Prove it

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‘Male: I’m all you’ve got good lookin’
Female: then I must not have alot

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“What sign were you born under?”
“No Parking.”

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“I know how to please a woman.”
“Then please leave me alone.”

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“Haven’t we met before?”
“Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.”

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“I want to give myself to you.”
“Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

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“I can tell that you want me.”
“Ohhhh. You’re so right. I want you… to leave.”

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“Hey, baby, What’s your sign?”
“Stop.”

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“Hey cutie, how ’bout you and I hitting the hot spots?”
“Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.”

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“May I see you pretty soon?”
“Why? Don’t you think I’m pretty now?”

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“Your body is like a temple.”
“Sorry, there are no services today.”

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After hearing a pickup line:
I like your approach, now let’s see your departure.

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If you are looking at a girl and she says “What are you looking at?”
say “I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.”

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Does beauty run in your family? 
It obviously doesn’t in yours!

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What’s your name sexy?
Taken!

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
Yeah, but this time don’t stop!

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I think you’re the best looking girl in here.
Really? Well, I’d better go find the best looking guy then, hadn’t I!

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Your legs go clear up to your ass.
Most peoples’ do!

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Can I buy you a drink?
Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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“You look like a dream.”
Response: “Go back to sleep.”

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What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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“I can see forever in your eyes.”
“But all I can see is never in yours.”

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‘”I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included.”
“Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.”