Some More Johnny!!!

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Little Johnny: One dollar.
Teacher(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
Little Johnny (sadly): You don't know my father
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A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. “Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor first putting a worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. “Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”
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The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week.
Little Johnny got up and read his essay.
It began, “Daddy fell into the well last week…” “My goodness!” the teacher exclaimed.
“Is he all right?” “He must be,” said the boy. “He stopped yelling for help yesterday.”
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“Hey, Mom,” asked Little Johnny, “can you give me twenty dollars?” “Certainly not!” answered his mother. “If you do,” Little Johnny went on, “I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”
His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. “Well? what did he say?” “He said, ‘Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.’”

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One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed in her cleavage.
She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How about you, Johnny?"
"Milk!" answered Little Johnny.
"No, I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer. Roses drink water," explained
the teacher.
"Wow!" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't know the stem was that long!"
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Five years old Johnny and his little sister are peeping through a
keyhole at their parents making love
"Wow, look at them! And we are not allowed even to stick a finger in our nose!"
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Johnny and his father are observing a couple of dogs screwing each
other."Dad, what're the dogs doing?" asks Johnny.
"Well, the one below has relaxed and the one above has
Concentrated." "Okay, I've understood."
"What've you understood?" asks the father sarcastically.
"Never relax in your life, dad, or you'll get fucked like a dog!"
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Johnny's parents were out of town once and so they asked that young
female teacher to stay for that time in their house.

Before going to bed Johnny Says to her "Oh, please, I'm so afraid to be by myself, please, sleep in my bed." She agrees, they go to bed.

In the morning she wakes up to find a big hairy-chested man in her bed.

She exclaims: "Johnny? Where is Johnny?" "Johnny? Who is Johnny? Is that the little boy selling the tickets?"
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Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:
"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
"Three and three... "
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.
His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny's mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.
The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."