India vs Pakistan

A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy  clean streets of Delhi (India) found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any,  And eventually couldn't control and chose a silent  corner  of a clean street to release himself.

Once he had just started, a police official approached him, Hey, What do you think you're doing here?

Pakistani tourist: sorry I have to "P"
Police: No PP here okay? Follow me...
The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby
with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around....
Police: PP here.. have a nice day police said.
Pakistani tourist: Oh sir ... that is very nice of you,  is this Indian courtesy?
Police: No... this is Pakistani Embassy !!
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Pakistan just got their new Chineses fighter planes and  sent a squadron of pilots there for training.  "Ok, this one is easy to fly", said the Chinese trainer,  "even you fools should be able to operate it!  You press this button to go up, this one to go left and  this one for turning right!"
"But how do we come down?" asked Capt. Arfath Pasha."Oh," said the  Chinese "leave that to the Indian Air Force!"
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One day, as a sardar taxi driver was driving along he saw a  priest looking for a ride. He pulled the taxi over. 

He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest.

”No problem, Father! I'll get you there. Get in."
The happy priest climbed in and the taxi driver continued  down the road.

Suddenly the Sardar saw a Pakistani walking  down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him.
But then he remembered there was a priest in the car with him,  so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing  the Paki.

However even though he was certain he missed the Paki, he still heard a loud "THUD". Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that Pakistani"
"That's okay", replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"
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A brain tumor patient with end-stage disease was informed  that he needed an immediate brain transplant  operation.
The surgeon told him, "You can have an Indian brain  for $10,000 dollars or an American's for $25,000 dollars  or I can give you 10 gms. of a Paki's brain for $100,000  dollars."
The patient asked,"Why is the Paki's brain so much more  expensive than the others?""Well," replied the surgeon, "we have to go  through a lot of Pakistanis to find 10 gms of brain."
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Ashraf, the Pakistani went to London's Heathrow airport  to buy his ticket back home to Rawalpindi.At the counter he found that  he was 10pence short of the fare.
Having no other way out, he turned to all the other passengers  and begged.."

Will someone please give me 10 pence? I badly want to go back and meet
my Abba and Ammi again!"

"Here" said a Sardar, reaching into his wallet and handing  him one Pound".....keep the change and take nine of your country  men with you!"