Scottish World Cup Squad

Me and my girlfriend have been together a long time, and our favourite sexual position is the Scottish World Cup Squad. Neither of us know what we're doing or why we're there, there's no passion, no communication and we never even make it past the first stage. It's often accompanied by a very bad soundtrack, horrible dribbling and never ever a clean sheet. It's always over far too quickly and when it does end I know it will be at least another 12 years before it happens again